Patience is the key

For the past few weeks I’ve been recovering from a pulled groin muscle. I wasn’t sure how the injury happened given I don’t strain that area much while running, so it was pretty clear it happened for not warming up enough before my daily runs.

I’ve learned my lesson now and warm up and stretch thoroughly these days that I’m starting to run again for a few minutes every so often.

This has been quite a patience test for me because I was very hooked on running. Well, I still am. I’ve written about it before, but damn I’ll say it again, running is more than physical exercise for me, it’s mental therapy:

• It’s focusing on myself instead of the crap surrounding me.
• It’s visibly and comfortingly working on improving my life.
• It’s untangling my mind’s mess and cleansing my soul pain with every drop of sweat that leaves my body.

But it turns out that this injury’s being an invaluable therapeutic exercise too, as it’s teaching me patience. Being patient with my body, patient with my fucked up mental patterns, patient with the healing process of my mind and body.

I’m learning to listen to myself, to identify what I need and what I don’t, and to reject what will cause me pain even if it looks appealing. I’m learning to understand myself better and to love myself more.

I’m a bit wiser and a bit more self confident.

And even though I’m still in the middle of an emotional turmoil, I know this is exactly what’s happening within me after all that’s happened in my life. Dealing with my traumas is helping me grow despite the ongoing pain and unease. And knowing this, in turn, helps me feel better, even if it’s a tiiiiny tiiiiiiiiiny tiny bit, day after day.